Nicole In A Nutshell

June 24, 2009

Stripes and checks and dots…oh my!

Filed under: bitchin' and moanin',Randomness — by Nicole @ 10:35 pm

I realize that we all come across wardrobe atrocities on a daily basis, but the one I saw today and choose to highlight here was particularly egregious, and it took one of my pet peeves to a whole new level. As I was waiting for my breakfast in the cafeteria at work, a guy came up next to me to place his order. This dude, no doubt a wet-behind-the-ears summer associate, was wearing pants with a grid print, a tri-colored striped shirt, and a patterned tie. I consider it a personal victory that I didn’t whip out a notebook and issue him a fashion police summons right there on the spot. I’m told that I often make facial expressions that I don’t realize I’m making (i.e. eye rolling), so I can only imagine what kind of stink eye I shot this fella. The issue boils down to this: what gives with the pattern-on-pattern-on-pattern stylings of so many gentlemen in this day and age? Clashing colors I can understand; color blindness, after all, is an overwhelmingly male impairment based on genetic freakiness and cannot be helped. But lo, there is NO SUCH THING as design blindness (at least in terms of a medical condition). A sophisticated and subtle combination of textures and colors is one thing, but looking like every day is laundry day is quite another, and is, in a word, unacceptable.

Ladies, if you’re dealing with this at home, I implore you to step in. Help him out. Hell, lay out his clothes if you can get away with it. Do what you have to do. If you have a friend in this predicament and aren’t privy to his closets on a daily basis, make some recommendations in a constructive way. If you’re unwilling to step in and help out the men in your life that clearly need the guidance, send ’em to me. It’s my (burgeoning) bidness. But know this: friends don’t let friends over-pattern.


1 Comment »

  1. I know what you mean…however (and I don’t recommend kids trying this at home) I don’t walk out of my house without at least 4 different patterns going on. And pull it off (others opinions, not mine). You know how I roll. It’s just a matter of pulling off the right combo and subtlety of patterns as you noted. But I know what you mean…sometimes, you just shake your head at people. But no worries, will be coming to solve men’s sartorial conundrums.


    Comment by CCB — October 21, 2009 @ 8:45 pm

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