Nicole In A Nutshell

June 24, 2009

Stripes and checks and dots…oh my!

Filed under: bitchin' and moanin',Randomness — by Nicole @ 10:35 pm

I realize that we all come across wardrobe atrocities on a daily basis, but the one I saw today and choose to highlight here was particularly egregious, and it took one of my pet peeves to a whole new level. As I was waiting for my breakfast in the cafeteria at work, a guy came up next to me to place his order. This dude, no doubt a wet-behind-the-ears summer associate, was wearing pants with a grid print, a tri-colored striped shirt, and a patterned tie. I consider it a personal victory that I didn’t whip out a notebook and issue him a fashion police summons right there on the spot. I’m told that I often make facial expressions that I don’t realize I’m making (i.e. eye rolling), so I can only imagine what kind of stink eye I shot this fella. The issue boils down to this: what gives with the pattern-on-pattern-on-pattern stylings of so many gentlemen in this day and age? Clashing colors I can understand; color blindness, after all, is an overwhelmingly male impairment based on genetic freakiness and cannot be helped. But lo, there is NO SUCH THING as design blindness (at least in terms of a medical condition). A sophisticated and subtle combination of textures and colors is one thing, but looking like every day is laundry day is quite another, and is, in a word, unacceptable.

Ladies, if you’re dealing with this at home, I implore you to step in. Help him out. Hell, lay out his clothes if you can get away with it. Do what you have to do. If you have a friend in this predicament and aren’t privy to his closets on a daily basis, make some recommendations in a constructive way. If you’re unwilling to step in and help out the men in your life that clearly need the guidance, send ’em to me. It’s my (burgeoning) bidness. But know this: friends don’t let friends over-pattern.

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June 15, 2009

Best. Idea. Ever.

Filed under: Hawtness,Randomness,Shopping — by Nicole @ 11:00 pm

So tired and ready for bed, but wanted to post this before I forgot. The end-of-night rolly shoe is finally here. It’s a concept I’ve actually cultivated for a long time (in flip flop form) but never did anything about. Well, some entrepreneurial Brit beat me to it, and I just hope he brings the business to this side of the pond. I certainly never thought of selling them in vending machines (genius!!!), but us Yankee gals could certainly benefit from these gems too. It’s like the socks you used to bring along to bar mitzvahs, in which to dance and play “Coke and Pepsi”, only for adults and inspired by too much boozing. A lost innocence, perhaps, but a damn good solution nonetheless.

June 12, 2009

Back by popular demand

Filed under: Blog News,It's All About Me,Randomness — by Nicole @ 7:23 pm

Well how-dee-do! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Momma’s been busy, but she’s back to entertain you lovelies. Just dawned on me that it’s been about 2 months since my last post, and that’s way too long. I still haven’t fully unpacked the new place (can I still even call it new anymore? Jury’s still out on that), and am looking forward to the day when it gets accomplished. Unfortunately, there’s no ETA on that since it involves getting my lazy ass up and doing the work. Meh.

Since my last post, I’ve been bored at work, gone to see Phish a bunch of times (!!!), and, well, nothing else really sticks out in my mind. I beg of you, don’t be too jealous of my uber-exciting life.

So let’s pick up where we left off and pretend that my little hiatus never happened. Random and/or obscure movies that you so need to own. My list starts with the following, in no particular order:

Center Stage: the story of a girl and her journey through the hard knock life of NYC ballet. Campy delicious goodness.

Troop Beverly Hills: Phyllis Nefler. ‘Nuff said.

Love Story: maybe not so obscure, but sweet jesus this is the best PMS film ever put on celluloid. Bonus feature: rough and tumble college hockey!

Death Becomes Her: star-studded ridiculousness, featuring Meryl Streep, Goldie Hawn, Bruce Willis and Isabella Rosselini. A cult classic.

Mother, May I Sleep With Danger/Death Of A Cheerleader*/Friends ‘Till The End: Never heard of them? Well, shame on you! The Academy snubbed these three gems, which are Lifetime Originals starring the illustrious former stars of the greatest show ever aired on television. I speak, of course, of “Beverly Hills, 90210.” The first two feature the most radiant natural beauty America has to offer, one Victoria “Tori” Spelling. The third flick is headlined by none other than Brenda Walsh herself, the thespian goddess that is Miss Shannen Doherty.

*Ummm, holy crap. A commercial for “Death Of A Cheerleader” just came on while I was writing this very section. It’s an obscure enough movie to make that reeeeally creepy. My DVR might reject it like a bad transplant organ, but I’ll be damned if that isn’t going to be on my watch list for the weekend.

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