Nicole In A Nutshell

March 25, 2009

Pop-ins, pricks, and Paula

Yes, I’m all over the place today. Bear with me.

Let’s start with PRICKS. Fuck the MTA. Somewhere really uncomfortable. Like in the back of a Volkswagen. Fuck the board members who know nothing of the crowded, unwashed masses that comprise rush hour traffic. Fuck these assholes who just a few years ago maintained a massive surplus (where’d it go, because it certainly didn’t go towards inproving service) and now cry poverty. Fuck these bitches who are not only hiking fares by alarmingly significant amounts, but are simultaneously making giant service cuts. Fuck their subsidized housing. Fuck their towncar rides to work. Fuck them all. Their time will come, and my only hope is that I be there to see it. I envision it might look something like the undoing of Mussolini at Piazzale Loreto.

Now, onto POP-INS. Since I live in the borough of Siberia, I don’t get many pop-ins. However, it can be a serious problem for some (well, maybe not so serious), and I address it now. Let’s use the generic example of the pop-in on a newly relocated person/couple/family/roommate conglomeration/etc. We’ll say that it took place at about 11 a.m. on a Saturday with no advanced notice.

The pop-in is a multifaceted maneuver, so let’s first examine the issue of timing. Not only was our pop-in in question undertaken just weeks after the big move, but it went down on a weekend morning. Whoa. There are red flags flying all over the place. I believe that a societal rule should be set in stone right here and now: no pop-ins on a fresh move until after the housewarming party*. To me, it’s just a matter of courtesy.

* N.B.: We are talking only about pop-ins. This rule does not apply to previously invited guests.

As for the weekend morning situation, I’ll borrow a line from one of the heroes of our time, a Mr. GOB Bluth, and that line is “Come on!!!” The morning pop-in moratorium is something that shouldn’t even have to be said, but alas, it seems to be an issue. As a self-accepting lifelong “non-morning person”, I might be alone on this one, but I really don’t think I am.

We now come to the question of notice: how much is enough? Unless it’s an emergency, simply pressing the buzzer to announce your presence does not notice make. A pop-in is not, by definition, an orchestrated event. It is an “I was in the neighborhood” kind of thing. As such, there is no reason to give less than 5 minutes notice for a standard pop-in. If one is already in the ‘hood, one can find something to do with one’s time for 5 minutes if need be. Find a Starbucks. I think this can happen if people pull together and realize how they’d react if someone was ringin’ on their door at an inopportune moment. Again, putting this guideline in place is common civility at work.

Finally, we get to PAULA. Girl, please get some styling help tout de suite. In fact, I hereby offer my services. The evening gown/tutu hybrid works on NO ONE. The Wednesday night Idol outfit served only 2 purposes: to confuse young children (who were up past their bedtime) by combining two pieces that even they would know not to put together whilst playing dress-up, and to just add fuel to the fire that is your reputation as a wacked out looney toon. The hair was pretty, and I’ll give you that. However, fire your wardrobe chick. YESTERDAY.

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1 Comment »

  1. Oh my…you turned into Stacy London in that last paragraph.

    Comment by Lori — March 31, 2009 @ 9:42 am


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