Nicole In A Nutshell

March 23, 2009

The apartment hunter’s motto

Filed under: bitchin' and moanin',It's All About Me,Steals and Deals — by Nicole @ 9:01 pm

I knew that my attempt to relocate back to Manhattan from Strollerville USA wouldn’t be 100% smooth sailing. Nothing in the NYC real estate market ever is. I was hoping it wouldn’t be too painful. Said hopes were dashed when I met with my first few brokers. Despite the fact that I’ve lived all over this city, I never really had to deal with many of these folks before. Times have changed. These people (at least most of the ones I’ve met so far) are simply ridiculous. The best way to get someone to NOT work with you (and make you a hefty fee) is to waste their time. Hence, my new realty-searching tag line:

DON’T PISS ON MY HEAD AND TELL ME IT’S RAINING.

If I say I want a one bedroom, don’t show me a studio. If I say I absolutely, in no uncertain terms, want a dishwasher, don’t show me places without one. If you tell me that the apartment features huge outdoor space, don’t show me a 2X4 foot concrete extension out a window and laud it as a “terrace”. Don’t tell me that it’s a no-fee rental and that there’s one month free rent (usually highlighted by several exclamation points on the myriad Craigslist ads you run), then tell me that I’ll need to turn over the one month free rent as a fee. DO NOT use Photoshop, technical wizardry, or other imaging enhancements to turn a veritable shoebox into Gracie Mansion when advertising. None of this makes sense, and it only serves to piss off the potential client, a/k/a me. That being said, if any of y’all are brokers who shun these types of behaviors, I’d love to hear from you.

OK, rant over. Here’s some good news: Recessionista Tuesdays @Ted Gibson Salon (http://tedgibsonsalon.com)!!!

Cuts – $75
Blow dry – $40
Color – $75

Although I imagine that this discount doesn’t apply to the $950 price tag attached to a cut by Ted G himself, this is a pretty sweet deal. It’s probably wise to ask about prices when booking an appointment so you know what you’re getting into (i.e. if you want highlights, don’t just assume that the $75 color price applies).

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