Nicole In A Nutshell

February 26, 2009

Manners…where have they gone?

Filed under: bitchin' and moanin' — by Nicole @ 11:37 pm

Riddle me this: has the world become devoid of decency and common courtesy, or is it just disproportionately worse in New York by leaps and bounds? While I realize that this is not a new phenomenon, I, for one, notice more and more each day how motherfucking rude people are. Does it cost anything to hold a door? Not to my knowledge. Does doing so eat up an inordinate amount of time? From my estimation, it takes anywhere from a millisecond to a whopping 5 seconds, give or take the circumstances. Is there some rational explanation for the crowded door area/completely open middle space combo in the subway car, and corresponding refusal to move the fuck down? Truly baffling, really. So too is the open-legged seat stance preferred by so many fellow commuters, and let’s not forget our brothers and sisters who roll with strollers and/or a gazillion bags and packages strategically placed in EVERYONE’S WAY. There’s really no big finish or earth shattering point to this post; I just thought I would put it into words rather than let it continue to ping around my head until such time as my brain decides to explode. That is all.


February 22, 2009

In these tough economic times…

Filed under: bitchin' and moanin',Shopping,Steals and Deals — by Nicole @ 11:32 am

Am I the only one who NEVER WANTS TO HEAR THAT PHRASE AGAIN????? Gah! Anyway, we could all use bargains, especially now, and if you’re over the catfighting at the Barney’s Warehouse Sale, here are some alternative sources of retail therapy:

C L O T H I N G L I N ESSS Sample Sales
261 W 36th Street (between 7th & 8th Ave)
2nd Floor
New York, NY 10018
We accept Visa, MasterCard, American Express, ATM bank cards and cash.
Preview us online at E-mail us at
For Women
Savings to 90% off retail
All sales are final

FREE PEOPLE – all sizes
– socks, scarves & mittens $4 -$7
– tees $10, shirts $20, sweaters $25
– skirts $15, pants $20
– dresses $30, outerwear $40

REPETTO – new shipment of shoes & dancewear
– ballet flats $60, 2 for $100
– high heel and boots $75, 2 for $125
– sample dancewear $20 – $30

GUSTTO – very limited selection
– one of a kind bags $50 & $99

MILLY – further reduced prices
– sample skirts & pants $30
– sample tops $30
– sample dresses $65

EDIT – further reduced prices
– shirts $20
– sweaters & dresses $50
– blazers $75
– coats & leathers $125

DESIGN HISTORY – further reduced prices
– all styles $15, 2 for $25, 3 for $30

IMMA – further reduced prices
– all styles reduced by 25%



Monday February 23 10:00 am – 7:00 pm
Tuesday February 24 10:00 am – 6:00 pm

Women’s dressing room is open, but closes 1/2 hour prior to close of store.
Our entrance and selling floor closes 15 minutes prior to close of store.


Cordially invites you to
a private sale of

Women’s & Men’s
Shoes, Leather Goods, Ready to Wear & Accessories

Up to 80% Off Retail Price

Saturday, Feb. 28th through Wednesday, March 4th
Saturday through Tuesday: 9:00am to 6:30pm
Wednesday: 9:00am to 5:00pm

To be held at:
Soiffer Haskin
317 West 33rd Street, NYC
(Just west of 8th Avenue)

Credit Cards Only
(American Express, Visa, MasterCard, JCB or Discover)

No strollers allowed. No children under 12 will be admitted.

For more information, call (718) 747-1656,
Monday through Friday: 9:00am to 5:00pm.
Soiffer Haskin, 1133 Westchester Avenue, Suite N136, White Plains, NY 10604

February 19, 2009

Peeing without a pee-pee…what’s a gal to do?

Filed under: Blog News,Randomness — by Nicole @ 9:49 pm

Picture it: you’re standing in a crowded place (i.e. the National Mall at the dawn of a new era, Times Square on New Year’s Eve [although why one would subject oneself to such torture I’ll never know]). You are a lady, and you gots to go number one. You can’t just whip it out like our brothers can and do, since there’s no “it” to whip out (unless you’re a pre-op and have the best of both worlds). You don’t want an unsightly puddle gathering at your feet, but you don’t want to miss out on the action. You’re in a quandary: what do you do?

Allow me to present Go Girl. As a rather frequent pee-er (that’s not an overshare, it’s a fact), I find this product intriguing. I also find it kind of gross. However, as my beloved Michael K at Dlisted brought it to my attention, so too do I bring it to yours. Draw your own conclusions. Oh, and if you happen to have experience with or purchase this product, I think we’d all like to hear some feedback.

I’d also like to direct your attention to a new addition on the blogroll: F*** My Life. It was recently brought to my attention, and I haven’t stopped laughing since. It’s a great time waster, and it speaks to the notion that things could always be worse. Schadenfreude? Perhaps. Hilarious? Absolutely.

February 17, 2009

Mas sample sales

Filed under: Good Times,It's All About Me,Shopping,Steals and Deals — by Nicole @ 10:45 pm

Sample sales are that wonderful phenomenon that defies evolutionary definitions, as women become both hunters AND gatherers. Of course, men can hold their own as well, but when the lady claws come out, the true masters show their colors.

These sales are all coming up within the next couple of months at Clothingline (261 West 36th Street [b/w 7th and 8th], 2nd Floor). Of course, were you to engage my professional services, I’d guide you through these events and find you the best pieces they’ve got.  I throw elbows, and would be happy to do so for you (and everyone you know). 261 W 36th Street (between 7th & 8th Ave)
2nd Floor
New York, NY 10018
261 W 36th Street (between 7th & 8th Ave)
2nd Floor

Coming February 23 for Women

Coming March 2 for Men & Women

Coming March 10 for Men & Women

Coming March 17 for Women

Coming March 22 for Infants & Kids

Coming March 30 for Women

Coming April 13 for Women, Men & Kids

February 16, 2009

Entrepreneurial endeavor – it’s on!!!

Filed under: It's All About Me,Shopping,Steals and Deals — by Nicole @ 6:16 pm

I’m a businesswoman, bitches! It’s been a busy and fabulous few days in the burgeoning stages of my personal shopping venture. I’ve chosen a name, acquired a few clients, and bought several domain names, which are currently in the website development stage. Please, please, please spread the good news that a wonderful shopper and stylist is now on the scene and accepting new clients of all shapes, sizes, budgets, and genders (trannies welcome!). It’s a very exciting time, and I can’t wait to share the details of my experiences with you.

February 13, 2009


Filed under: It's All About Me,Shopping — by Nicole @ 12:54 am

As I continue to build this shopping/styling empire, I have run into a slight stumbling block: the name. Every fucking website domain I want is taken, and taken by bastard squatters. Well, fuck those assholes.  I’ve hit a cyber-wall and need some fresh brainstormin’, but refuse to let the squatters win. I need something snappy, relevant and incredibly fabulous. Suggestions are welcome, appreciated, and requested. Thanks in advance…looking forward to all the responses (hint, hint).

Also, since I don’t watch “Private Practice” and keep forgetting about this crossover nonsense with “Grey’s Anatomy”, I have for the past 2 weeks forgotten to DVR the PP following GA and am now left with an unsettling cliffhanger that I believe may have been resolved in the episode I didn’t see. If anyone knows whether things were wrapped up in a pretty little package in the subsequent hour, please let me know WITHOUT TELLING ME WHAT HAPPENED!!! I am just trying to determine whether I’m going to need to track down the episode or if I can hold off until next week’s GA to get the answers I need. Muchissimas gracias.

February 10, 2009

Bidness update

Filed under: It's All About Me,On A Serious Note..,Shopping,Steals and Deals — by Nicole @ 9:18 pm

I am actively searching out new personal shopping/styling clients. I have a lot of angst right now (personal stuff that needs not be dealt with in this here forum) and my knack for retaill therapy could be your gain! Please have a look at the following and pass it on to interested friends, family, co-workers, strangers, and anyone else you deem in need of my services:

Thanks for the support, y’all!!!

Underthings update

Filed under: Shopping,Steals and Deals — by Nicole @ 11:24 am

Hanky Panky makes cute undies. In the event that you care in any way about this nonsense holiday coming up this weekend and need last minute gifts/supplies, this sale might be right up your alley.

hp tif
hp tif2



FEBRUARY 11th-13th
10am to 8am

Savvy Customer Preview
8am to 10am

145 WEST 18th STREET (Between 6th and 7th Avenues)


February 8, 2009

Whole lotta love

Filed under: Good Times,It's All About Me,Shopping,Steals and Deals — by Nicole @ 9:13 pm

I’ve just got to say that I am touched and humbled by the wonderful feedback you gorgeous, talented, brilliant readers have been sending my way. If y’all keep reading, I’ll keep writing. I post kind of sporadically, but will continue to try and pick up the pace as ideas flow through me. In the meantime, please feel free to suggest topics and post comments. It’s great to hear other perspectives and input.

For right now, I only have little snippets of things to say. Firstly, open house type parties never get old. Take some kickass Venezuelan food, an adorable house, and fun people, along with a lovely hostess, and you get the party I went to on Saturday in Connecticut. It’s a bonus to get out of the city and not go directly to another city, but rather to places with freestanding homes and driveways that need to be plowed by heavy duty industrial vehicles. This trip to the country, however, was an experience that none of us in the car had ever faced before. We missed our street, and were driving pretty slowly to find a place to turn around. The car behind us pulled up alongside and rolled down the window to sk if we were lost and if she could help. This was a culture shock to those of us whose first instinct upon a seeing a car sidle up would be to hit the locks.  What does that say about the vicious city that we inhabit?

Sample sale update: this one looks good, and I thought I’d share.


SSS Sample Sales
261 W 36th Street
(between 7th & 8th Ave)
2nd Floor
New York, NY 10018


5 days, 3 late nights
All seasons
All items are final sale

Samples & ir’s
Tees $20
Sweaters $30
Shirts $35
Skirts $40
Pants $50
Dresses $50
Blazers $60
Coats $70
plus knits, bulky sweaters, shorts, jackets & more

Stock / First quality
Tees, knits & shirts from $29 – $69
Shorts, skirts & pants from $49 – $89
Dresses $99
Blazers $139



Monday February 9 10:00 am – 7:00 pm
Tuesday February 10 10:00 am – 7:00 pm
Wednesday February 11 10:00 am – 6:00 pm
Thursday February 12 10:00 am – 7:00 pm
Friday February 13 10:00 am – 6:00 pm

* Our entrance closes 15 minutes prior to close of store.
Dressing room is OPEN, but closes 30 minutes prior to close of store.

Upcoming at the same space will be Kenneth Cole:

March 2 – March 6

Monday 10:00 am – 7:00 pm
Tuesday 10:00 am – 7:00 pm
Wednesday 10:00 am – 6:00 pm
Thursday 10:00 am – 7:00 pm
Friday 10:00 am – 6:00 pm

Kenneth Cole sample sale information

  • for Men & Women
  • clothing, footwear & accessories

I’ll finish off with a tip for the ladies that came up for me this week. I have always been a skirt/dress kinda gal. For some reason, it’s just how I’ve always rolled. When I was an itty bitty nursery school diva, my mom got a call from the teacher. Despite my otherwise angelic demeanor, there was one thing they were having trouble with when it came to me: I insisted on wearing dresses all the time, even on days when I was so cold I would kind of huddle in the corner for warmth. Clearly, in my 30 years on this earth, I have learned little. I went outside with a friend at work the other day to get some fresh air, and she was awed to see me wearing a skirt and heels. Was I cold? Maybe a smidge. Was I complaining? Actually (and perhaps uncharacteristically), no. Why, you ask? well, that’s a good question. Here’s my answer (and the tip you’ve been waiting for with bated breath): the hose/tights combo. For warmth on those days where the OCD creeps into your wardrobe decisionmaking (i.e. every day for yours truly), it doesn’t get much better than this. Maybe this isn’t nearly as novel an idea I seem to think it is, but I don’t recall ever having tried this strategy before last weeek, and I’ll be damned if it wasn’t something of a life changing epiphany. Give it a try and let me know what you think. I believe I might have just created a fashion breakthrough.

February 3, 2009

This one’s for the ladies

Filed under: bitchin' and moanin',It's All About Me — by Nicole @ 10:54 pm

DISCLAIMER!!! If you have a penis, it’s not likely that you’ll find this post informative, useful, or interesting in the slightest. In fact, it’s probably TMI as far as what you need or want to know. Consider yourself warned.

Now that the housekeeping’s out of the way, let’s talk about waxing. Girls, it has become our burden as women to trim, pluck, thread, Epilady, and otherwise engage in torturous methods of hair removal on various parts of the body. Of course, the most egregious manifestation of this phenomenon is the Brazilian wax. Setting aside for a moment the natural processes that we chicas go through and that men get to avoid (the monthly visit from Aunt Flo, squeezing something the size of a watermelon through a hole the size of a grape, back issues because of “the girls”, etc.), we have allowed ourselves to surrender to a cadre of insufferable habits and procedures are female-exclusive and do not come from Mother Nature. Do men wear heels? Oh, please. Do males spend massive amounts of time and money on makeup and skin products, highlights and hair products? Give me a break. Do the fellas make any attempt to clean up the pubes, chest, back, arm, eyebrow, or any other hair other than that on their noggin? Fuck and no. Yet we empowered women of the 21st century continue to engage in these primping exercises on a regular basis.

That being said, it is what it is (or at least what it has become). Because it was looong overdue (by whose standards, I’m not quite sure), I went for an organic Brazilian today. Usually, I try to pre-empt the excruciating pain with LMX-4, a hard to find numbing creme (and yes, I am fully aware that I’m a complete pussy). Unfortunately, the concoction was not in my desk drawer as I thought it was when I booked my appointment, so I went in totally vulnerable. Luckily, I stumbled upon THE BEST WAXER IN THE WORLD!!! Allow me to introduce you to Lisa (pronounced Lissa), the wonderful Russian lady who did an amazingly thorough, swift, and empathetic job. She works at a small, unassuming salon called Confidence (located on 3rd Avenue between 22nd and 23rd Streets), and a big plus about this place is that you can set appointments through Lifebooker at significant discounts. Best of all, Lisa did not show me the fruits of her labor, i.e. the muslin strips full of wax and hair. I cannot conceive of a situation where and why an aesthetician would think this was appropriate or of interest to the client, but it has happened to me at many a wax. Lisa, ever the pro, refrained from this behavior and in so doing, racked up tons of bonus points.

Despite Lisa’s prowess, I still found the need to distract myself as much as possible. Enter the iPod. As I flipped through songs, I thought it would be a good train-ride-home project to compile a soundtrack for this very occasion. Behold the waxing playlist:

Start it off with one of these gems:

“Ready Or Not” by The Fugees

“Take It Off” by The Donnas

“I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor

“Welcome To The Jungle” by Guns n’ Roses

If you’re wise enough to have applied some LMX-4 or similar, go with this:

“Comfortably Numb” by Pink Floyd

Breathe, and continue with these:

“Wild Honey Pie” by The Beatles

“When It Hurts So Bad” by Lauryn Hill

“Wide Open Spaces” by the Dixie Chicks

“Patience” by Guns ‘n Roses

“Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?” by Culture Club

“Back That Ass Up” by Juvenile

“Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-A-Lot

“Any Way You Want It” by Journey

“Dry Your Eyes” by The Streets

“Friends in Low Places” by Garth Brooks

“I Am Woman” by Helen Reddy

“I Wanna Be Sedated” by The Ramones

“It Can’t Come Quickly Enough” by Scissor Sisters

“Land Down Under” by Men At Work

“No Woman, No Cry” by Bob Marley and The Wailers

“Prickly Thorn, But Sweetly Worn” by The White Stripes

“Relax, Take It Easy” by Mika

“What Is And What Should Never Be” by Led Zeppelin

“It’s Not Right But It’s Okay” by Whitney Houston

“Fast As You Can” by Fiona Apple

“Don’t Leave Me This Way” by Thelma Houston

If you’re getting a sugar wax, you obviously want to include this:

“Pour Some Sugar On Me” by Def Leppard

When you start to reflect on men and how much they suck for not waxing themselves, try these:

“Goodbye Earl” by the Dixie Chicks

“Hey Fuck You” by the Beastie Boys

“Knock ‘Em Out” by Lily Allen

“U Can’t Touch This” by MC Hammer

“What Is It About Men” by Amy Winehouse

When it’s all over, treat yourself to these:

“Hallelujah” by Jeff Buckley

“Cool It Down” by the Velvet Underground

“Heal The Pain” by George Michael

Now you’re done, and you are the most amazing woman alive! Go ahead and bust these out:

“I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred

“Hot Stuff” by Donna Summer

“I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross

“Filthy/Gorgeous” by Scissor Sisters

“Foxy Lady” by Jimi Hendrix

“I’m Free” by The Who

“Natural Woman” by Aretha Franklin

“You Sexy Thing” by Hot Chocolate

“Song 2” by Blur


Godspeed, ladies. Have a drink – you’ve earned it!

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