Nicole In A Nutshell

October 21, 2008

The $64,000 question

Filed under: It's All About Me — by Nicole @ 6:40 pm

I found myself, unsurprisingly, extremely bored at work today. Having finished my current book and exhausted my regular blog library, I logged into an online dating site that I haven’t checked in a while but on which I still maintain a profile. Within seconds, a guy IM’d me and asked me what I was looking for, sex or a relationship. 20/20 hindsight tells me that I should have cut off the convo right there, but out of boredom, curiosity and an attempt to get some insight into the anonymous male mind, I wrote back. I responded that I am, in fact, looking for a relationship and that the casual thing isn’t really working for me. Undeterred, this “gentleman” offered up the prospect of being “friends with benefits” as he was not looking for a relationship (mind you, I did not and do not know this fool’s name, yet he wants to be friends+). I kept the conversation going for the aforementioned reasons, and noticed that among the many inappropriate questions he asked (despite the fact that I said I was on my WORK computer and didn’t want any randy exchanges), the most persistent question had to do with the precise measurement of “the girls”. Actually, it wasn’t so much a question as a repetition of the phrase “cup size?” with punctuation that indicated that he was seeking information.

Now, I must state for the record that I am wary of online dating. It makes me nervous. But I also realize that anything is possible, so I choose not to limit my options and engage in this internet lovin’ in a sporadic manner. That being said, I doubt I will find Mr. Right on my computer screen. However, I can say unequivocally that the first conversation between my soulmate and myself will not involve an inquiry into the size of my rack. Am I right, ladies? And fellas, would you fall in love with a girl whose first round of questioning involved a query regarding the inch tally of Mr. Happy? Methinks not.

Therefore, I am now stating and implementing the following policy regarding brassiere interrogatory.

a) You find yourself in the middle of La Perla or Agent Provacateur and want to make sure that the beautiful gift you are about to get me will fit like a glove. Give me a call and I’ll gladly pass along the digits.

b) You are one of the lovely people from the laundry service who so faithfully pick up and deliver my clothing and intimates when I need you.

c) You are reading the label after having been lucky enough to remove said bra from my person. At that point, however, I’m thinking we’re probably past measurements as a matter of import.

d) You get me drunk. I tend to be real chatty under the influence.

Sincerely,

Tits McGee

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2 Comments »

  1. I think you are right on on this one Nicole. While I applaud a man who knows what he wants, one must keep these things in perspective! Love the blog, Evan

    Comment by evan — October 23, 2008 @ 1:45 pm

  2. e) when you get drunk with your best friend and end up with your shirt off but didn’t get any..

    Comment by Wendy — October 23, 2008 @ 3:32 pm


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